How to Stop Being Jealous of Others' Success
Proverbs 14:30 (AMPC) "A calm and peaceful and tranquil heart is life and health to the body, But passion and envy are like rottenness to the bones."
Most people recognize jealousy as a corrosive force that hinders personal growth and relationships. Despite this, it can be difficult to know how to stop being jealous of others' business success, especially when our own entrepreneurial journey isn't going as hoped.
Replacing jealousy with proactive strategies such as analyzing the steps that led to others’ successes can transform your own journey for the better. By understanding the root causes of jealousy and implementing positive strategies, you will be able to embrace the successes of others as a help rather than a hindrance to your own success.
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
It's never been easier to fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others. Social media bombards us with constant reminders of other people's success. Perhaps a friend's business is going through rapid growth, or they've received the promotion they were so intent on achieving. Remember that social media is deceptive and only shows one very sculpted perspective of success: the one they want others to see.
The reality is that the promotion, growth, merger, or sale you see doesn't reveal the whole story. There is often a great deal of struggle and several failures on the road to achievement. When you're feeling jealous, remember that somebody else's success may be thanks to many factors and doesn't make your own journey any less worthy.
2. Recognize the Dangers of Envy
Envy toward other business owners can be as destructive as "rottenness to the bones." It drains energy, distracts focus, and leads to poor decision-making. This is because focusing on others' journeys rather than your own diverts your attention from your own goals and achievements and replaces it with cues to mimic or resent others' successes.
Recognizing harmful feelings that can impact our mental health and distract us from our goals is key to avoiding the dangers of envy. When we replace them with faith, our tranquility of heart will foster a healthy environment for growth, innovation, and resilience. This allows you to focus on your vision and goals without being sidetracked by the success of others.
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3. Use Goals to Motivate, not Demotivate
Setting benchmarks is useful, as knowing how others are performing—either professionally or personally—provides a starting point for setting your own goals. However, setting goals based entirely on what others have done ignores your own unique situation. When we compare other people's lives to ours, we have minimal context about the metrics used to gauge their success and forget that each person's career trajectory is completely different.
When we see our peers enjoying more success than we are, we don't often analyze the reasons why. Instead, we only see the perceived chasm between us. When this happens, our own insecurities come to the fore and we replace positive emotions with envy, hopelessness, and self-doubt.
Setting realistic goals—and having a vision for your business—is a great way to focus your efforts. When setting goals for yourself or your business, use metrics relevant to your situation, not others'. This will help you find more enjoyment in every achievement you make.
4. It’s Not Milestones That Matter, But Methods
Looking at another business's metrics like sales or profits has very limited value. Instead, study a successful business's strategies and the tactics that have led them to succeed. If you're prone to envy, this requires an active change of mindset. Don’t think about others' success in the context of your own journey. Instead, take it as something valuable that you can learn from and apply to your own business.
Learn what it is that distinguishes successful people from others. Try to understand:
What they do differently from other companies that haven't enjoyed as much success.
How they overcome challenges or growth obstacles.
Why their customers like the company and stay loyal.
Their approach to growth, management, customer support, hiring, quality control, etc.
The goal here is to turn growth envy into curiosity and a willingness to learn. If you're going to play the comparison game, you must make it productive and healthy. Take inspiration from success stories and use them as a basis to become smarter, happier, and more successful yourself.
5. Focus on Positive Emotions
When we feel jealous of someone else, we let negative emotions take control. It can be hard, but readjusting our focus on positivity helps us feel genuinely happy when others succeed. The key thing to remember here is that another person's success doesn't diminish your own. The path toward success depends on many variables. Simple comparisons aren’t useful or fair.
Remember that the only person you have to compare yourself to is yourself. Ensure that the choices you make align with your faith and values. These will be the anchors you need to keep you on the right path, knowing that God provides and wants prosperity for you. When you let faith guide you, you will find it easier to focus on positivity. There's so much to be grateful for if only we let ourselves feel it.
Develop Emotional Intelligence
Envy is characterized by several character traits: low self-esteem, ambition, and a sense of injustice. A bibliometric review study published in 2021 on workplace envy suggested the role of a business leader is to guide their team toward a place of emotional stability in which envy and workplace frustration can be replaced with positivity. This has a positive impact, as the ability to avoid feeling jealous is a sign of both emotional intelligence and stability.
As a leader, you can influence positivity in your workplace both by developing your teams’ work skills and by creating a work environment that builds emotional intelligence. This will set you and your workers on a path that embraces gratitude and self-worth rather than dwelling on frustration.
6. Cultivate a Mindset of Gratitude and Abundance
Business owners can build more fulfilling and successful businesses by focusing on gratitude for what they have already achieved and the abundance that exists within their own ventures rather than what they lack. Create a company culture that puts gratitude at the fore by recognizing what each person contributes and celebrating their successes. Extend this gratitude to yourself and recognize when you reach goals or go above and beyond for your team.
This shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset not only promotes personal well-being but also creates a positive ripple effect throughout the business. Positive leadership will boost team morale, customer satisfaction, and ultimately, your bottom line.
A Change in Perspective Leads to a Healthy and Positive Outlook
Overcoming jealousy is a journey that requires self-awareness, intentional effort, and a shift in perspective. We can cultivate a heart free from envy by focusing on personal growth, gratitude, and empathy.
Proverbs 14:30 reminds us of the profound impact of our emotions on our well-being. By choosing peace over envy, we protect our own hearts and foster healthier relationships. Let us strive to celebrate the successes of others, recognizing that their achievements do not diminish our own.
Related verses:
Habakkuk 2:2-3
Ephesians 3:20